Saturday, August 29, 2015

Balancing My Lives

Blaugust Day 29
Something terrible and beautiful is about to happen.  I start school on Monday.

I have mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, I enjoy having something to do that sort of stimulates my brain, and forces me to interact with others since I tend to be a homebody.  On the other, I have crippling social anxiety, car anxiety, and I don't do well under pressure, so... yay.  I need a therapist but it's hard to talk to people about my issues.

My academics suffered a lot last year.  I almost lost my financial aid because my grades weren't high enough.  This was a combination of performance anxiety, anxiety in general, skipping class a lot, and avoiding work to play video games.  It's going to be really important from here on in to do my school work before I play video games.

It's really hard for me to balance my life because of all my issues.  My mental state teeters from... semi-normal to completely unhinged.  I really do like school though.  I love making lists and goals and accomplishing things.  It's good for me to get out of the house and interact with people even though it makes me really nervous.

I've made the semester as easy on myself as I can.  I'm taking 4 classes.  I have Friday off, and I'll never be on campus more than a few hours the other days of the week.  Only 2 of my classes are on campus.  I love sitting in the library working on schoolwork, even though the library is loud.  It's a community college so the computer lab is like right in the middle of the library.  It drives me crazy.

Also the school has like... really fucking good food.  I'm not a picky eater at all so that helps.  AND I can get bottles of Mountain Dew at school for $1.50, while at a store they cost like 30 cents more.  What the fuck, consumer America?  What the fuck?  The school's chicken rice soup is the best soup you guys.  The best soup ever in the history of soup.  And the loaded potato.  Okay all the soup.

So I do have some things to be excited about.  I just have to be careful about balancing it all.  I'm sticking to a strict get all my work done before getting on the computer rule.  And no raiding Mondays or Wednesdays since I have an early class the day after.  I really want to succeed.  I think I'm the only one in my way.

2 comments:

  1. Work hard today so you can play tomorrow, right? Sorry to hear about the social anxiety issues. My daughter has a touch of that and I understand how crushing that can be. It does make it easier if you have friends to back you up.

    Enjoy your $1.50 Mountain Dew! ;)

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  2. It is exciting! I'm sure you can succeed. And thank you for making a resto druid blog, I was very happy to find it.

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