Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Gender Tag


I saw Dodger do the gender tag in a video on her YouTube channel and I thought it was such an interesting idea that I wanted to do it.  So many people are coming out as transgender and what have you that I think it's important to have an open discussion about it.  Here is the original video.  So here are my answers.

The Gender Tag Prompts

1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?

I think that... there's a difference between sex and gender.  Sex, to me, is whether you have a penis or a vagina.  But I think gender is more of a social construct that determines maybe what clothes you wear, your personality, if you wear make-up, what you like to do.  I don't always agree with gender as a social construct but it's how our society works, unfortunately.

I am a female physically and mentally.

2. What pronouns honor you?

I go by the female pronoun she.

3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

I am the kind of girl who is so unconcerned with what I'm wearing...  I habitually leave the house in a t shirt and Cookie Monster fuzzy pajamas.  I'm a big fan of plain t shirts and pajama bottoms.  Comfort is my number 1.

4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?

I keep my hair about to my shoulders.  It used to be really long but I appreciate short hair.  It's so much easier to take care of.  As for body hair, I shave all of it.  I shave my legs, my crotch, my pits, the whole shebang.  It's not that I'm embarrassed by it.  I go out in shorts with hairy legs all the time.  It's just more physically comfortable to not have hair.  Like laying down and feeling leg hair rubbing on the sheet is SO uncomfortable.  I like the feel of smooth skin.

5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?

I'm not a huuuge makeup wearer but I do think it's fun to play with.  I can't paint my nails because of where I work.  Sad drawer of nail polish not being used.  Id on't use much perfume because it makes my head hurt but when I do it's usually a citrus scent.  I love citrus and I have a bottle of lemon perfume that my mom got me once because I tried it in Bath and Body Works and she knew I liked it.  I sometimes wear that and I swear I smell like how a lemon drop tastes.  I love using different types of soap.  I like using artisan handmade soap because it's just fun.

6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?

Thankfully I haven't ever experienced this, mostly because I've always "looked" like a girl.  Except when a bunch of neighborhood boys dared me to chop off all my hair when I was 5 but you could still tell I was a girl.

7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?

I don't experience nor have I ever experienced dysphoria.  I've always known I was a girl inside and out.

8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?

I'm gonna be real here.  I hate kids and I don't want any.  That's about it.

9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?

I want to be able to take care of myself.  I see my mom struggle with money and I never want to be in that position so I save money in an account.  I don't really care if I earn more than a partner or not, just as long as I can pay for my own shit.  I am totally ok with people paying for me.  Like I'll pay but if someone's like no no I'll pay I'll be like wooo you go for it.

10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

I had a lot of dude-ish hobbies when I was little.  I loved video games and Hot Wheels and action figures.  But I also had quite a collection of My Little Ponies and Bratz dolls so I had a good variety.  I think that I'm grateful for the fact that no one told me I couldn't play video games or have Hot Wheels just because I was a girl.  Everyone let me just do what I wanted and never push anything on me and let my interests grow really organically.  I'm really lucky for that and I wish more people had the openness I got to have.